Let him go
by goldstranger
Summary: United they stand dived they fall... MCD


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Title: Suertalo (Let him go)

Author: Goldstranger 

Summary: United they stand, divided they fall. I never really believed it until it happened to us.

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Death Fic.

Completed: WIP

Disclaimer: I do not own any and all characters from mutant X, they belong to their respective owners. However I do own my own character Cody Madison

A/N: I was in a really weird mood when this was written and this is the result.

I've read many fic's and tried to incorporate the emotions they held with each character, based on their personalities. This is not my first death fic, I've written an original one, but I didn't think to post it just yet. Also I have nothing against the victim in this story, it sort of wrote itself. 

A/N: Dec. 20th, 03: Because of the removal of the authors note as chapters I had to repost this thing, I kinda got it all mixed up and accidentally removed the whole thing so it's being reposted. *grins sheepishly*

We were all lost without him to be there for us. The leader in the field, and in our hearts. 

Gone in one stupid mistake, a grand miscommunication in the world that we fight for everyday of our dam lives. The world we live in is one hell of a difference from yours, and that was probably what made us think it could some day be better. 

It was suppose to be a no brainer, meet an old friend and help her get to one of the underground safe houses. Than go meet the others for lunch at the Coral diner. It was usually the two of them who went together on missions like these. She told me to go instead, that I needed the practice. That it would be all right. How was she to know it would be the last time she would ever see him alive? 

The lofts in the down town area were usually abandoned, so it wasn't so weird to find it all quiet. But I was told to keep my guard up, when did I ever let it down? I wanted to say but kept my mouth shut. For some reason he looked as if he had something he wanted to tell me, and it looked quite serious. Gone was the playful look that had always been the windows to his soul, they were replaced by something of a worry. 

Sitting on top of one of the many crates we had our backs to each other scanning the place out. Only two exits in the entire gray spaced area. 200 square feet filled with crates in various places. Other than the two of us the place was empty of life, dull and dusty. Silence so quiet that it killed my ears. He clears his throat and says something that at first I didn't quite hear so clear. Asking him to repeat his question seemed to have irritated him. Both of us had had our share of irritating one another this week, whether intentional or not. 

Our usual playful banter turns into an argument between the two of us and escalates to shouting. I guess we should have been more alert and quieter. We should have just stopped and kept with the mission, we should have known better. 

We both heard it the first shot, its what had silenced us and made us drop dive for cover, him in front of me like a human shield even though it wasn't something he was capable of. He looked around frantically for where the shot had come from when another one went off. He told me to stay put, since when did I ever listen to what people told me? Since I became part of the team. Part of the family, I remembered. 

I heard the sound of punches being exchanged, and grunts, groans. A body drops and I dared to peak around the corner of my protective wall. A suit! A dam suit!!! I carefully make my way over to the body that lays still on the floor. My guard way up, and I'm not feeling all too good either. He comes walking towards me breathing pretty heavy for someone who didn't even look like he had been fighting. He says' something but once again I can't hear him too good. A jab to my arm jolts me too reality, a burn of anger consumes me as I look up at him confused at what's happening to us. 

He touches my abdomen than lifts his hand up slowly and it is covered in dark liquid. I shake my head looking down at myself checking my stomach for any kind wound; there is too way much blood to be my own. 

Simultaneously we slump against each other and down to the floor. The sounds are echoing around us as I scramble to activate my COM link. Screams come out from somewhere, and I can't tell whether they are his or mine. Struggling to pull us both into a sitting position I pull open his soaked shirt, the blood is pouring out faster than I can cover him much less find the tear in his flesh, where the hell is it coming from, and why is it coming so fuckin' fast! 

No this is not happening! I can't make out what he's trying to say, and I'm fighting the panic that it threatening to control me. You can't do this now, I demand of him. 

I can't breathe. Por dios, I can't breathe anymore when I realize he isn't moving much, words spill from his lips but it's getting harder to hear him. The words echo around the room in small waves, barely reaching my ears. The tightness in my chest grows and I wanted to tell him that he couldn't leave, --No nos puedes dejar-- but all that comes out of me is a small harsh gasp. 

It takes a lot just to pull his limp body closer to mine, getting sleepy I lean back against the crates, just holding on refusing to let go.

Foot steps echo around… mingled voices… shouts… fighting… more shots.

I don't know how long we laid there on the cold floor, it feels like a life time before strong arms haul me up speaking to me. "Suertalo…" (let him go) the voice says to me. I so wanted to open my eyes to see who was causing me feel more pain. I couldn't for the life of me let him go, because if I did he would truly be gone.

I keep thinking that there was something I was missing, that this wasn't supposed to turn out this way. The blood that had been spilled was wrong… all wrong. 

~*~*~*~

Turns out that it had all been a set up, the GX had set us up using an old friend of his. Those bastards. They had come to collect the wounded, when the others came to our rescue. Some rescue, it had been too late for him he had lost so much life by the time they had hauled us both out of the building. So much blood… blood that to this day I swear is still on me. 

So here I am three months later still with a cast on my arm --A result of diving onto the concrete jagged floor-- and the scar on my side --from the bullet that tore through you, and skimmed a good chunk of me- Sitting on the hill by the grave, your grave. Your final resting place. 

I've no more use for tears as I think how my new family was shattered with one mistake. My mistake. I've been told that it had been no ones fault, but what would they know? They hadn't been there.

Had I just been listening and not been arguing with you big brother, we would have heard him come in. Fought them off the way we had been taught. We could have made it to lunch that day. 

You're birthday…

Now everything is so dam empty without you. My heart it breaks with each passing day as I watch them fall apart little by little. Watching and listening as Shalimar stalks the halls at night, 

sleeps with the stuffed cat you gave her, the one with the lightning bolt on it. Of all of them she stopped crying first, when it gets too much in here for her. When she can no longer hold the rage inside, she runs into the night. For hours on end she roams the bars, occasionally coming out of random fights unscathed. Dios lo bendiga her Feral instincts.

I listen as Emma tries to find you with her tears, she cries for you big brother most of all. Always off in a trance searching for a way to heal herself, from the ones that make up her family. Her pain is 5 folds. For she feels all of our pain, and hers is great. You are the first of her adopted family that she had saved, and loved.

Jesse has locked himself away in our bedroom, shut out from the world he's no longer resembles the bright eyed young man I fell in love with. Just this emotionless shell. He never eats, he never sleeps, and when he does it is only because he cries himself into an exhausted troubled sleep, filled with nightmares. Nightmares that I experience thanks to our loving link.

As Adam grieves over the loss of his eldest son, he is the perhaps the most silent and yet loudest cry I can hear. Engrossed in his work for whatever problem has come up, he finds it easier than talking to anyone of his hurting children. His usually withdrawn approach with situations has caused him to be even more illusive as ever.

Me? I've become as nocturnal as Shal, and as lost as any of them. My home has become a place of pain, and everywhere I turn I see everything that is you. It only hurts when I breathe, the ache inside is never ending. Always constant and sharp. Training has become useless. My mentor gone, reason gone… I lost control and accidentally set the dojo on fire today, no one say's anything though.

I watch as we all crumble under the weight of the loss. 

It's my fault that we're broken, and I'm going to find a way to fix it big brother. 

"Yo te lo juro, Brennan." I promise you Brennan. 

Adam is calling me now, I have to go. 


End file.
